Today

Amazingly last week or so has been rather good. Yesterday was really kind of a hard day in comparison but not super bad. Handled it better than I would have even 2 months ago. It was my Mom in law's birthday and just seeing her was hard knowing she really wasn't sure who we were. She really liked her birthday cake though. Just got lots of emotions swirling around since i woke up from a nap today Maybe i'll post more after church and supper.

now

Ok been a while but that's how things end up going with me. Life is moving on. Been a busy summer and actually I'm starting to be ready for school to start back or at least the routine of it. Still got a month. Over all days are swinging from good to horrid. Today so far has started good and yesterday was good. Sleep comes and goes but been working on it. Gonna try to post more but who knows if I will remember to or not.

swirling around

if i just wrote what was in my mind it would all be a jumble things had been going so well and depression seemed like that thing of the past now i can't tell if it si depression or if it is just me being stupid or stress or what i can't keep focused on thigns and i just want to hide in a litttle ball and stya there my masks are getting thin and worn don'tknow how long i can keep putting them up

a thoght

ok how does one blog about what is going on in them when their brain is running in so many different directions that it is impossible to complete a train of thought.

Well long time no write seems that I forget I have this spot to write when things are going well. Stress the last couple of days has really been high and I am glad there is this spot to write. Hubby's mom has been having some dementia issues and spent some time in the hospital. Friday he brought her home with him. She is actually doing very well but the uncertainty of what is going to go on is hard for me to deal with. We have some dr appointments lined up this week for her. One of them is with my old therapist. Depending on what he and the medical dr. says we may be having her live with us the rest of her life or she may be in a nursing home. She is only 68. Sort of wish I could have a session with the therapist. He is the only person I have ever been able to open up and really work through things with. This stuff with hubby's mom has me feeling very small and such but on the outside I'm the one who is having to be strong and fix her food and tell her how to shower and that sort of thing. Tonight I just want to curl up and hide. I have that feeling I use to get of hiding behind a mask to the people I come in contact with when inside things are slipping all over the place. At least that feeling is recognizable, guess that makes it better than before. Well shall see how things go maybe I won't forget about this good spot for emotions to go.

Holidays

Ok we are going to enjoy the holidays, we are going to enjoy the holidays, we are going to enjoy the holidays if it is said enough maybe it will happen. Wonder why that is so hard to remember sometimes. Mom in law, brother in law his wife and 3 kids all coming for Thanksgiving. I'm doing most of the cooking. Then there is only 3 weeks till Christmas break. Kido is in the Christmas Parade next week have to make an elf costume for that, then we have an open house coming up. We are going to my parents for Christmas so there is alot going on hope to get back here before then but if not will for sure in Jan.

Wow

Wow it has been ages. Thanks sooooooooooo much to Raine for finding me :D. I got a new puter and didn't have the links to get back to her blog or mine for that matter. Now that I have them and finally remembered my password to get in I'll try to post more frequently.